Dear MC: Go forth and sin no more (unless you have to)

A funny thing happened on the way to my blog.  I got busy.  Hopefully, this will be worth the wait.

It’s been yadda that and yadda this – but the point I want to make is:  there’s a big difference between the perfection we achieve for ourselves and what we have in our produced portfolio. 

I have been back in touch w/MC, the only Copywriting student I ever had who never committed a Kamikaze Copy Sin in class.  She’s writing something for a book I’m doing – a short piece on the Kamikaze Copy Sins telling how knowing them helped her professional career.  She wrote a great piece – clever funny sincere  smart – of course mentioning her sinless feat from PC days.  When I asked if she had a book sample I could use to illustrate her story, she offered my choice of her website. 

I love her print.  The broadcast rocks, full of truth and humor.  An article about the Chicago film industry kept me from beginning to end.  Some great lines, smart copy so far from a formula you’d need GPS to find anything close.  How fabulous – each campaign has its own copy feel.  Here’s the rub – Miss MC’s copy has taken up sinning. 

Not a whole lot of sinning – maybe 4-5 different ones, one showing up more than the others.  Of course I ribbed her, but I also forgive her. 

In the real world, there is no Doreen to rip your body copy apart with a red ink pen.  More often than not, you won’t have a Group Head or some kind of CD (ACD, ECD, GCD – too many to list) who does it, either.  Especially not if you’re Senior.  Doubly not if you freelance.

In reality, there will be higher up Creatives, AEs, ADs and clients who make you put the Copy Sins you so painstakingly exorcised back in.  Like a horse racing back to his burning barn, it seems the familiar seems better, even if it deserves to go down in flames.

There are also overnight deadlines, multi-tasking, open concept offices, proofing your own work and hour-to-hour meetings.  On rare occasions, you really do need to start the next line with  “But”  “And”  “Because” or “Yet.”  Really do need that “that.”

In reality, MC managed to string together campaigns of one, two, three, six, seven and more sentences that invited reading.  Held a common strategy.  Communicated in the language of concept.  Made me smile, sins or no sins.

Which sins did MC commit?  Find these in your own ad copy:

From _____ to _______ - clichéd excuse for poor structure and/or a writer uncertain of how to translate and relate the technology without unduly lengthening the text.

Starting sentences with But, And, Because, etc. – word wasters.  I promise.  If your structure is good, you do not need them.  (Go ahead, put your finger over one in your copy.  Count to five.  If you don’t see how much better it is, you’re either a coward or can’t see your structure problems.)  They can also indicate an implied subject habit.  A crutch I admit I was once my own addiction.

Comma before ‘and’ in a sequence – commas are pauses.  Pause your reader and you may stop your reader’s reading.  It adds unnecessary characters that could add up to a smaller type (font) size.  Exorcised from the Stylebooks before some of you were born (in the 70s).

Why do I bring these up here, now?  Because I want you to understand the true nature of Kamikaze Copy Sins.  (Put your finger over “Because.”  See how much stronger, more compelling the line becomes?  See how many characters you saved your AD or GD?) 

Kamikaze Copy Sins aren’t an arbitrary list of Doreen’s written pet peeves.  Yes, there’s a list.  Yes, they do make me peevish.  Yes, what’s on the list runs rampant in even the best ad copy.   The important thing isn’t that they represent all that’s hackneyed, boring, illogical, unnecessary and uncrafted in ad copy.  (What about “that?”  It’s on the list, too.  Go ahead, put your finger over “that” in the last un-parenthesized sentence.  Count to five.  Didn’t really need it, did I?  But this one's a red herring - use it or not, writer's choice.)  It isn’t that they waste space or activate prospect triggers that say, “OK, it’s a b.s. ad.  I can stop reading now.”  (That first that can be eliminated, with/without structural changes.  The second one I’ll let you keep.  All three create another sin – repeating the same word too closely/too often.)

Kamikaze Copy Sins are also your list of dirty little writer’s hedges, bad habits, things overlooked or copied without thinking.  My list is only the starting point.  You should each have your own. 

I admit they’re not always easy to spot by yourself.  (A long-forgotten client jolted me of out my implied-subject-starts-every-second-line crutch back when I was still Junior.)  You do need a body of work to catch their habitual nature.  (Start writing body copy for everything, even if you’re not required to.)  A tuned-in copy reading friend or art director helps, too.  The “find” command in Word works, but you still need to learn to see things yourself. 

Email me (kamikazecreative@gmail.com) and ask nicely.  I’ll send you the short form list of Kamikaze Sins.  (For the long form list w/extended explanations, I’m afraid you’re going to have to take a class from me or one of my former students, work at Miss Wexley’s School for Girls, The Loomis Agency or somewhere else where you’re exposed to my former students.  If you’re not that lucky, you can wait for my book to come out.)  Check everything you write against them.  Don’t stop there.  Start compiling your personal list now. 

Keep a running list of every bad habit you find in your own writing.  Hint:  If it’s in every piece you write, it’s a Personal Copy Sin.  If it’s something you find wherever you were uncertain what to write next, it’s a Crutch Copy Sin.  If you start every second sentence/fragment in a piece with And, you have a habitual structure problem – with those two lines and most likely, other lines as well. 

I have always said “The joy is in the edit.”  While there’s a lot more behind that line, here’s how it relates to Copy Sins – Personal or Kamikaze.  When you edit out sin, you won’t go to ad heaven.  I can’t promise you awards.  Or even that anyone else will notice.  (What about that that?  Keep it?  Change it?  Tackle my lazy structure?)  What I can promise is your writing will be better.  (How many of you would have written "that" between promise and is in the last sentence?  Obviously, you don't need it.)  Whether they know enough to realize you’re without sin or not, the people you’re writing for – Prospects, Present or Prospective Creative Directors, et.al. – will recognize subconsciously your copy stands above the rest.  They will reward you by reading every word.   In today's tight job market, with too many good writers unemployed, it could be the tie-breaker determining who gets hired among all those excellent candidates.  

Readability and hirability.  Isn’t that what we (want to) get paid the big bucks for?

Another copy blog you should check out:  http://nomagicnumber.blogspot.com.  It belongs to Amy, a former student of mine from the Circus, now freelancing and teaching in Chicago.  I promise, it'll make you wish you could take her class.