Fun with Periods. Commas, Exclams! and Blank Spaces

It’s not my job to teach you grammar.  It’s my job to teach you to manipulate grammar you already know. Doreen returns with some help from Master Copywriter/Creative George Logothetis.    

These. Brakes. Have. Amazing. Stopping. Power. 

A while back I asked George Logothetis, former student extraordinaire, to share his portfolio with my class.  (Not only did he oblige, he thrilled a current student as one of my Team Skype Mentors.)  Among the Jay Chiat Award-, One Show Pencil-, Cannes-, Effie-, Webby-, Addy-, Etc.- winning pieces (georgelogothetisadvertising.com) I found this ad for BMW motorcycles (George served as BMW bikes’ de facto CD for years).

It stopped me. In. My. Tracks.

One of the most important aspects of writing copy is controlling how prospects, talent and others process content, place verbal and content emphasis. One of the simplest ways of doing this is with creative use of punctuation, copy breaks, paragraphing   Spacing      Etc.

For some it's instinctive.  For others, an overly paranoid battle of If it’s not good grammar should I.

The Gospel According to Doreen - Why not?

If you understand what they mean in sub-conscious interpretation, bending breaking rules of grammar/punctuation works.  As long as you don’t take liberties so jarring, your copy’s dismissed as amateurish or ignorant.

 

To make it work, understand both the visual and verbal clues you give your readers. (1)

Take periods (in bullet points for all you Millennials; no more than four lines/bullet/paragraph for the web specifically, most writing in general):

• A period is a stop.  In headlines they make a bold statement and/or force the prospect to consider the headline before continuing into body copy
• Eliminating them allows the line to linger in the prospect’s mind, continuing its thought to the body copy.  This is not the same as breaking a line between headline/opening line in the first paragraph, with or without an implied subject (gerund – ing ­ form of verb, which classically turns verbs into nouns).
• Using periods between words and short line fragments forces the reader to follow the visual and subconscious cue to pause.  George’s headline is a brilliant example.  It controls the reader.  Expresses the benefit of the product being.

The contradiction of commas:

• An accelerator and a speed bump.  Commas divide, pause or push a reader through a line. Which it does is up to you, the visual/verbal connection and subconscious prospect grammar takes.
• In grouped individual words and/or phrases, a comma says consider this word, then consider the word(s)/phrase(s) following.  The entire line is consumed as being connected, cuing relational words/phrases to follow.
• Oxford Commas – technically those after a clause preceding, and, or.  In a list of three or more words, or clauses.(2)  Never in ad copy (regardless medium). 
•  People don’t volunteer to read commercial writing.  Any pause gives permission to stop reading.  Combine a comma w/and, it’s a double visual and subconscious cue there’s lots more coming, stop reading while you can.
• Commas are the most mis/overused punctuation in business/commercial/advertising writing.  Too many cause visual confusion and kill readability.  Create pauses instead of flow.

The rule on Exclams:

Don’t do it.

• Exclams are fine in personal correspondence, love notes and tweets from thirteen year old girls (3).  In commercial writing, they scream Amateur! Doesn’t know how to create emphasis with structure, space and other tricks.
• The exceptions, using exclaims stylistically when mocking Late Night TV pitchsters, love notes and tweets from thirteen year old girls.

 About     those    blank    spaces:

• Amazing   how   slowly   you   read   that   line,   isn’t it.  Extra spaces create separation visually.
• I used them in headlines    of    course.
• It’s best not to exceed four lines/paragraph (a hard rule in web writing, as the computer screen causes different visual reactions to type than print)   sometimes   even    four    lines   can appear too dense for voluntary readability. If all you care about is three or four words in the middle, spacing them out can render them top take-away. 

Stacking:

Another way to create

visual emphasis

with

space.

• Stacking is first and foremost a writer’s decision, not the prevue of Designers and Art Directors.
• If you intend to use stacking for emphasis, flow and/or separation, make sure your graphic partner doesn’t change the stacks

Confusing,

and even

changing the

readability,

and

meaning.

·        A more easily digested stacking of that same line (pay attention to other minior changes):

Confusing,

Even changing

Readability,

Meaning.

A big difference in two visual treatments of the same line.

A big difference in the way the same line is/isn’t read. (4)

A segue to the last bit of grammar for today, Capitalization:

·       

•          Initial caps can be hard to read.  If you have a headline without an active verb, you  really have a title.  The Capitalization Conundrum.  Like a book title, in three-five word  headlines, initial caps (capitalizing the first letter of important words) create a strong  statement by naming it.
•       In body copy, they do the same.  You can name Anything, creating emphasis.
•       You can also use initial caps in quotes, to avoid the visual distraction of what Doreen said is, The visual clutter and disconnect of “”s.

I use these and many other little Fun with Punctuation Tricks.  Done right, most readers don’t notice.  Done wrong – expect everyone to call you on it.

Obviously, there’s more to all this.  One of the best ways to learn, read innovative poets, novelists, essayists, columnists and video narrative.  Listen to the way people talk to each other (good copy is an intimate conversation between people who know, like and respect each other).

Get your words together.

Play. 

See how punctuation,   spacing   Capitalization, etc. affect how what you write is read.

And Oh - Follow This Blog.

   (1)   I isolated this line in its own paragraph for emphasis instead of using italics or bold face.  The latter would have made it stand out, but would have interrupted the smooth visual flow of the copy.  Causing readers’ eyes to jump, possibly right off the page.  (Here, an implied subject eliminated “and,” a run-on and sped the reader through the line, further accelerated by the comma after jump.

   (2)   You may notice I use a – to both create spacial isolation and to push the reader into the next word, phrase - whatever.  As a connector, hyphens and dashes create a visual slide into what’s next, even when it’s isolated by extra space.

   (3) Notice I didn’t hyphenate thirteen-year-old.  Yes it’s correct.  No I didn’t want to create the visual emphasis.  

(  (4)   Yes, I did repeat the first three words in these two lines.  It’s called Parallel Structure.  When it works, it creates emphasis, controls flow.  When it doesn’t, the can make the Prospect think the exact repetition is an error.  Why read if it’s a mistake?  But that’s a discussion of structure, which I promise to take up soon.

   Apologies.  Something strange happens copying posts in Word, then moving them into Blogger's compose block.  I've been wrestling with spacing, bullet points, etc. for an hour now.  Mercury is Retrograde.  Blogger wins!

This post and all original content in this blog ©Doreen Dvorin/Kamikaze Creative ™