More Haiku for you: What every Kamikaze Copywriter needs for inspiration, lessons in writing visually

More on why Haiku are so good for learning to write copy

As with my post of 1/13/13, What Japanese Poets know about Kamikaze Copywriting, I appreciate both the freedom – and strict limitations – of traditional Japanese Haiku.  Growing up in Japan, the form was all around me.  At best, I spoke/read pigeon Japanese, but mine was a family of readers and in keeping with our surroundings my parents often shared these amazing little poems with me. 

I think what I love most – and learned best – from this early (ongoing, really – I still read them for inspiration, in admiration of their form) exposure was how visual words can be without using descriptors.  When I write on a student’s paper “be more visual!” I don’t mean add a string of modifiers.  I mean put me (and your prospect) in the word picture you’re painting.

  

Writing visually is more about the experience than the description.  Visual writing is active, engaging.  Does this mean “I watched little Sally’s chubby legs run in ever-widening circles around the riot of blues, pinks and yellows that is her granny’s old English garden?”  Absolutely not.  Visual writing is active, puts the reader into the picture.  It isn’t about an experience.  It is the experience.  It isn't about the product, it is the product.

I often tell students “don’t write about the product, put the product – and the prospect – in active, sparsely worded perspective."  Product as hero.  Here are a few clues:

Action verbs, not passive verbs

Make the reader see what you’re saying, not hear it in their heads.  This means there’s also an engaging emotional component to your words and structure.

Don’t add more words, enrich the words you already have.

Visual writing is about the depth, quality¸ rhythm of words, how they fit into the line’s structure.  Playing with structure itself can add a visual sense.  Here’s a line I often use when defining Translate the Thought:  I know why birds fly (the thought it translates, I hate sitting in traffic).  The line contains no descriptors, but immediately brings to mind the image/feeling of birds flying freely and how I wish I could do the same.  In my mind, I see geese in chevron flight.  A friend of mine sees hawks circling.  My husband wonders if the canary got out of his cage.

My point is, the action the birds take – flying – gives the mental picture I can see myself in.  The knowingness speaks to how I feel about it.  It’s visual writing, sans descriptors.

I've given the assignment of writing advertising Haiku before (see post captioned above).  It’s always a big hit, although I am often perplexed by the difficulties students have with the 5-7-5 and using words that aren’t weak verbs, meaningless fillers (see Kamikaze Copy Sins). This assignment is going to be a bit different from the one I usually give.

This week’s assignment is to write three advertising Haiku.  How do ad Haiku differ from traditional?

 

• You must use the 5-7-5 syllable pattern, write visually and include a strong kiru (twist).  The language/tone/voice however, must speak to your prospect.  Thinking of the first two lines as posing a problem, the third, final line as its answer may help you get your head around the assignment, kiru, etc.
• You must include at least one feature/benefit (see blog post 8/27/12, Features, Benefits and the Language of Concept) in each Haiku.
• Each Haiku must be written to one of these prospect/product combos.  You must do three different product/prospect combos, not three Haiku to the same one:
• Safety message – teens texting while driving
• Sweet potatoes (category) – seniors
•  All natural, organic dog food (choose a brand) – dog owners
• Kitty towers (those carpeted climbing perches you see in pet stores) – cat owners
• Go To Meeting.com – meeting site/software to small business owners
• Axe Body Spray – Millennial Males (don’t worry about trying to match their current stuff)
• The Creative Circus – Upcoming college graduates
• This class – prospective Circus students

That should give you a pretty good field to choose from.  Post your Haiku in the comments section to this entry, bring them to Doreen Live!, we'll discuss them in class and I will take them home w/me (bring two hard copies to class, one for me, one for you) Thursday, 1:30 at the Circus.

Questions?  Reread the assignment email I sent earlier today.  Contact me via the Circus student gmail box.

Have fun.  See you there. 

©2013, Doreen Dvorin/Kamikaze Creative

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