It’s not my job to teach you
grammar. It’s my job to teach you to
manipulate grammar you already know. Doreen returns with some help from Master
Copywriter/Creative George Logothetis.
These. Brakes. Have. Amazing.
Stopping. Power.
A
while back I asked George Logothetis, former student extraordinaire, to share
his portfolio with my class. (Not only
did he oblige, he thrilled a current student as one of my Team Skype Mentors.) Among the Jay Chiat Award-, One Show Pencil-,
Cannes-, Effie-, Webby-, Addy-, Etc.- winning pieces (georgelogothetisadvertising.com)
I found this ad for BMW motorcycles (George served as BMW bikes’ de facto CD
for years).
It stopped me. In. My. Tracks.
One
of the most important aspects of writing copy is controlling how prospects,
talent and others process content, place verbal and content emphasis. One of the simplest
ways of doing this is with creative use of punctuation, copy breaks, paragraphing Spacing Etc.
For
some it's instinctive. For others, an
overly paranoid battle of If it’s not good grammar should I.
The
Gospel According to Doreen - Why not?
If
you understand what they mean in sub-conscious interpretation, bending
breaking rules of grammar/punctuation works.
As long as you don’t take liberties so jarring, your copy’s dismissed as
amateurish or ignorant.
To
make it work, understand both the visual and verbal clues you give your readers.
(1)
Take
periods (in bullet points for all you Millennials; no more than four
lines/bullet/paragraph for the web specifically, most writing in general):
- A period is a stop. In headlines they make a bold statement and/or force the prospect to consider the headline before continuing into body copy
- Eliminating them allows the line to linger in the prospect’s mind, continuing its thought to the body copy. This is not the same as breaking a line between headline/opening line in the first paragraph, with or without an implied subject (gerund – ing form of verb, which classically turns verbs into nouns).
- Using periods between words and short line fragments forces the reader to follow the visual and subconscious cue to pause. George’s headline is a brilliant example. It controls the reader. Expresses the benefit of the product being.
The
contradiction of commas:
- An accelerator and a speed bump. Commas divide, pause or push a reader through a line. Which it does is up to you, the visual/verbal connection and subconscious prospect grammar takes.
- In grouped individual words and/or phrases, a comma says consider this word, then consider the word(s)/phrase(s) following. The entire line is consumed as being connected, cuing relational words/phrases to follow.
- Oxford Commas – technically those after a clause preceding, and, or. In a list of three or more words, or clauses.(2) Never in ad copy (regardless medium).
- People don’t volunteer to read commercial writing. Any pause gives permission to stop reading. Combine a comma w/and, it’s a double visual and subconscious cue there’s lots more coming, stop reading while you can.
- Commas are the most mis/overused punctuation in business/commercial/advertising writing. Too many cause visual confusion and kill readability. Create pauses instead of flow.
The
rule on Exclams:
Don’t do it.
- Exclams are fine in personal correspondence, love notes and tweets from thirteen year old girls (3). In commercial writing, they scream Amateur! Doesn’t know how to create emphasis with structure, space and other tricks.
- The exceptions, using exclaims stylistically when mocking Late Night TV pitchsters, love notes and tweets from thirteen year old girls.
About those blank spaces:
- Amazing how slowly you read that line, isn’t it. Extra spaces create separation visually.
- I used them in headlines of course.
- It’s best not to exceed four lines/paragraph (a hard rule in web writing, as the computer screen causes different visual reactions to type than print) sometimes even four lines can appear too dense for voluntary readability. If all you care about is three or four words in the middle, spacing them out can render them top take-away.
Stacking:
Another
way to create
visual
emphasis
with
space.
- Stacking is first and foremost a writer’s decision, not the prevue of Designers and Art Directors.
- If you intend to use stacking for emphasis, flow and/or separation, make sure your graphic partner doesn’t change the stacks
Confusing,
and even
changing the
readability,
and
meaning.
·
A
more easily digested stacking of that same line (pay attention to other minior changes):
Confusing,
Even changing
Readability,
Meaning.
A big difference in two visual
treatments of the same line.
A big difference in the way the same
line is/isn’t read. (4)
A
segue to the last bit of grammar for today, Capitalization:
·
- Initial caps can be hard to read. If you have a headline without an active verb, you really have a title. The Capitalization Conundrum. Like a book title, in three-five word headlines, initial caps (capitalizing the first letter of important words) create a strong statement by naming it.
- In body copy, they do the same. You can name Anything, creating emphasis.
- You can also use initial caps in quotes, to avoid the visual distraction of what Doreen said is, The visual clutter and disconnect of “”s.
I
use these and many other little Fun with Punctuation Tricks. Done right, most readers don’t notice.
Done wrong – expect everyone to call you on it.
Obviously,
there’s more to all this. One of the
best ways to learn, read innovative poets, novelists, essayists, columnists and
video narrative. Listen to the way
people talk to each other (good copy is an intimate conversation between people
who know, like and respect each other).
Get
your words together.
Play.
See
how punctuation, spacing Capitalization, etc. affect how what you
write is read.
And
Oh - Follow This Blog.
(1)
I isolated this line in its own paragraph for
emphasis instead of using italics or bold face.
The latter would have made it stand out, but would have interrupted the
smooth visual flow of the copy. Causing
readers’ eyes to jump, possibly right off the page. (Here, an implied subject eliminated “and,” a
run-on and sped the reader through the line, further accelerated by the comma
after jump.
(2)
You may notice I use a – to both create spacial
isolation and to push the reader into the next word, phrase - whatever. As a connector, hyphens and dashes create a
visual slide into what’s next, even when it’s isolated by extra space.
(3) Notice I didn’t hyphenate thirteen-year-old. Yes it’s correct. No I didn’t want to create the visual emphasis.
( (4)
Yes, I did repeat the first three words in
these two lines. It’s called Parallel
Structure. When it works, it creates emphasis,
controls flow. When it doesn’t, the can
make the Prospect think the exact repetition is an error. Why read if it’s a mistake? But that’s a discussion of structure, which I
promise to take up soon.
Apologies. Something strange happens copying posts in Word, then moving them into Blogger's compose block. I've been wrestling with spacing, bullet points, etc. for an hour now. Mercury is Retrograde. Blogger wins!
This
post and all original content in this blog ©Doreen Dvorin/Kamikaze Creative ™
