I want you to understand something. Just because I write something on your paper
that appears below doesn’t mean I’m singling you out. More than likely, I wrote the exact same
thing on twenty papers the same week I wrote it on yours.
Now about what appears below. Writing copy – like writing anything else –
is an exacting dance between saying what you (client/product) need to say and
how the Prospect (reader) will best take in the information. Optimally, how the Prospect will take it in
so it is impossible for him/her to forget.
It doesn’t matter what I put here, the b.s. meter seems to
have run out no matter what medium you use – “New” media (now 20+ years old,
w/apps gone mainstream and I had a student point out to me she wasn’t even born
when whatever reference I was trying to give her not even mobile’s very “new” anymore)
or Traditional. People do not volunteer
to read ads. Fell flatter than insert
cliché! Here. Even if it’s for a product
they have or see an upcoming need for.
The current fashion is student writers as problem solvers skilled
in concepting and producing web, video, social, even print, radio, TV,
collateral, direct, promotions, product sheets. They seem to forget Copywriter ends in
“writer.” At least during the hiring
process. They don’t look for student
writers who can – dare I dream it – actually write. They’ll let you learn
on the job – maybe with a mentor, maybe not.
But that’s an entirely different blog entry.
This one is to tell you the only way to learn to write is to
write. The only way to learn to edit is
to edit. The only way to be proud of
your work is to become adept at both. The time to do it is now. Before you’re lost on the job. Before your boss catches on you didn’t do all
the edits you needed. Before someone
says “great idea, too bad do all the edits you needed. Before someone says “great idea, too bad you
can’t write.”
Here’s where all this style stuff I’ve been torturing you
over comes in. If you cannot analyze and
dissect recurring patterns in language, pick up its syncopation, slang, fashion
and position in the hearts and minds of your current client’s current prospect,
at best you’ll be like those Will Farrell beer commercials. Funny.
Wildly smart funny. But
ultimately done for himself, not for the prospect he mostly makes fun of. Doesn’t sell beer, but Will’s having lots of
fun practicing the art of Creative Masturbation.
Style is also an old reliable trick to dress up a less than
Kamikaze concept.
Style can also turn a really great ad into something living long
after its original intent.
Learning to write in styles will help you learn what you do
and don’t want in your more personally conceptual work. Allow
you to experiment. Fill your book with
campaigns so diverse, you’d never guess the same writer wrote them all. Except for one thing: they will all have a certain personal
creative point of view, a certain way of playing with punctuation, a penchant
for getting to the heart of a prospect with a very few well-chosen words. Something from you they can’t get from anyone
else.
So listen up, see (James Cagney – or was it Edward G.
Robinson? Film Noir). Here are some highlights gleaned from student
body copy homework. Very few of these
things deal with style. All of them deal
with writing better, representing the
types of errors, omissions confusions
and misconceptions we writers very often never see in our own work (even if
we’re comparing them word-for-word against the Kamikaze Copy Sins.) They’re in no particular order. Read them over, then read over your own
copy. Consider them your own
Doreen-in-a-list of things to ask yourself before I even see the copy.
These read a bit thin – you try to
make your joke, mention [the product] & be done – but there’s a disconnect,
believe they may need a transitional line between the two.
Close! Good shot!
Needs appetite appeal Off
strategy. Better more visual (word)
Big energy dip – last sent should be
strong, memorable. If possible, pithy. Cliché!
You need to better familiarize
yourself w/Advertising Objectives and their terminology
Much better! This is product’s problem, not the prospect’s!
This structure is so poor I had to
read it three times to figure out what you’re trying to say. Still not sure.
Who R these people (prospects),
inside? What emotional/threads run
through them all u can use to hang KKF/concept on?
Never start a head line w/”Being
_____,” ask I’ll give you a gazillion reasons! Lighten up!
Tone change!
Prospect benefit, not a Creative
Objective
Don’t worry so much about getting it
out – make it visual, interesting – make me want to read more!
You’re talking down to prospect Where did this come from? Try changing order
Nice – but tone a bit elevated 4
prospect…sounds like trial by fire – make it appealing
This is tourism – should be visual,
put me in picture! Stop writing ads
and just start writing!
Too Addy Inaccurate
benefit Logic of meaning problem Redundant.
See it?
Is there a better way to say this? Maybe structural to
deliver more irony? Good! Make it active and memorable Need stronger close Simplify
TRANSLATE THE THOUGHT Y bring this [idea] in at all? You’re talking down to prospect
Nice – but tone a bit elevated for prospect Don’t repeat words too closely Play with it!
Use
structure to say expected things in unexpected ways. Don’t be so heavy-handed
Get into inner landscape of what diverse new
[prospects] have in common, not just {subject].
May find a gem in there, never know
These are internal (KCWP), to help us concept – bullet
points, lists, simplify 4 yourself so you can always find what you need. Also 4 clarity – densely structured lines are
usually difficult to understand. Be
simple – be good to yourself!
What inner stuff – thoughts, emotions, common
experiences – do they share? That’s
where the key to motivation is.
Competitive info must compare these co’s and their
promise/features/bennies w/ [product] – can reveal neat little copy points,
inspire new uses 4 existing products, new markets, 2!
Not working.
Tricky. This is not true. Don’t make blanket claims like this unless
you can back them up
Never start a line w/”just like…”poor structure! Good work! Clarify benefit Punch up
Competition is Real & Perceived – real maybe other
products/companies. Perceived
is…anything that helps your [prospect] [do the same thing/respond as you wish]
Don’t just describe prospect, go inside. That’s where the KKFs you can use 2 motivate
R. Drill baby drill!
How to write headlines:
1. Write a line as simply as
possible, what you want to say
2. Translate the thought (not words) based upon prospect knowledge and
promise
Would like to know more about product Try to get into their heads/hearts
Great! Except
where’s the [product] except in lst para?
It needs to be integrated into story
Perfect! Good! Done!
Simplify. Get real. Translate the thought! Tone change. More visual.
Clarify some references or rework not to confuse Inject a little product Very skimpy work plan Great!
What do they have in their lives in common, connecting
them, exposing motivation keys?
Love it. Check
your product knowledge! Better word Insert product Energy drops, should increase!
Copy Sins! Order- simplify, have
fun, don’t B so heavy handed – you can nail this one!
You have nothing here (KCWP) to indicate the style you chose will
resonate w/your prospect
(KKF) Product focused, not prospect focused Change Order. (KKF) Too close to products
Do you really mean to use this word? Need strong close. Nice V.1 – keep trying, digging 4 words
Tone change. Copy Sin
Break up. Simplify Poor word choice Structure.
Translate the thought. Not
needed
Where’s the close? Should be memorable, high energy, instead it
winds down to nothing
Would you rather do something “like”
surf, or would you rather surf? Change
order
Simplify – restructure, get rid of
“you” voice “You” voice – see Copy
Sins
Stop writing ads – just start
writing-editing editing editing – maybe little more writing – absolutely more
edits
You need a stronger argument than “we
believe” Change of intellectual
level/vocabulary expectations
(Closing line/paragraph) Rewrite. More visual active, end on high note I keep thinking somehow, somewhere, we
need to let them know it’s a $300 item - at least imply it isn’t cheap!
What unites them? What do these very diverse emotional
individuals have in common besides finances?
Anything? PUSH – IS THIS
KAMIKAZE?/ WHERE IS IT REFLECTED IN CONCEPT/CW?
This is important, but is treated by
structure as minor Yawn! Weak. Not a
visual verb.
Rethink this – just don’t rethink 2
hard. If you want to spoof, you must lst
know the source – what’s your Key Fact?
Is it Kamikaze? Cool. Grammar or typo? Very, very close. What can you do to push it over the top?
BO-RING Too many Copy Sins, tone changers –
what? You skip my class 1Q and forget
all I taught?
HEDGED More visual.
No repeated words. Copy Sin – Change structure [Not KKF] Prospect def. Prospect def.
Wasted words. Translate the thought, not the words. Break up.
Simplify. Stop trying to write
ads and just write.
- Stop overwriting. 2. Stop writing ads. 3. Write. Jump right in. 4. (and) NO! WARNING YOU’VE NOT DONE A PROPER EDIT AND MISSED THIS 99.5% SIGN OF A RUN-ON!
SEGUE Way too complex structure – simplify Logic problem Let down ending Try reversing order.
What do you think? Y is this a benefit? Promise is a benefit - Inner commonalities tying the emotional
cord
APPITITE APPEAL=ZERO Very nice.
Very nice. Good start PUSH
Copy Sins Stop writing ad –
say it!
Yawn! Need stronger close! (Competitive Information) a little more detail,
a lot more comparison I don’t believe
this one.
Where were you when we did this in
class? Lazy structure. Push yourself. Good.
Good. Cliché. Push.
The idea of style isn’t nec 2 parody
– it’s to use it as a way in to a potentially resistant prospect
Cut the BS, just get 2 it Smooth out, it’ll work. BLAH.
Great. Work on it. Nice. Nice. Good! Not so personal – bigger picture
You haven’t wowed me yet. Put all that cultural literacy and just plain
literacy 2 use. You’re the only one who
can make it happen.
Dismissive (of product) DUH!
CLICHÉ! Too generic Wasted word. In and out of tone
Not true – some do. Use structure to increase the power of copy. Too much bad taste, not enough information,
humor.
You can do better than this. Less time w/giving me extra work, more time
nailing this as you should have done last time!
(Fortunately at beginning of line)
Copy Sin. Reverse. Shorten! You used same structural device in all – and
it’s not that great a device
Cut out 25%-35% of words. Mix up your devices. Give me more… Trying too hard – overkill
PUSH. YAWN.
Your point? Clichéd device Yech.
Blah. What? Weak!
Copy Sin of highest order (that)
Blah blah blah – just jump into
it Know where you’re going, but never
got there NO! NEVER! Blah!
RU married to this hedge? Adds nothing, takes away plenty (tend to) AWK STRUCTURE. COPY SIN.
NO STRUCTURE. COPY SIN.
CLICHÉ. COPY SIN. COPY SIN. Tone change from informed to stupid
I see where you’re trying 2 go w/this,
but lazy editing, clichés and copy sins from someone who knows better wastes my
time. Edit them out. Resubmit, make them sound like you care.
Off brand voice – too feminine Expected – push! Even your tone This is too generic. What r u selling?
No, the only thing to prove is 2
yourself. Pump up, more important,
personal, passionate.
Good thought, but just stuck it in
the end. Good line but long way from
last mention Redundant. Tired old ad
device.
This starts a totally different
discussion – y not get rid of front, start here? Good line but long way from last mention
Breaking up run-ons creates emphasis Break into 2 parts – write it as
conversation, not lecture
Blah! Redundant. Tired old ad device. This
starts a totally different discussion – y not get rid of front, start here?
Breaking up run-ons creates emphasis Break into 2 parts – write it as
conversation, not lecture
You love to complicate your structure
– simplify it instead. Fab-u-lous!
Start by jumping into it, don’t worry
about introductions and working up to it.
Hit it right out of the chute.
Good.
Some/same problems w/structure and overwriting. The strongest ideas are the simplest. Same goes w/copy. Think of it as a conversation between you and
your prospect. Add a little warmth, so
I’m not surprised by the sweetness, pain of your last, very powerful, line.
Stronger word. Excessive “ands” Tone changes R U writing text or ad? Integrate product more
This is all over the place.
1.
KCWP 2. What do you want to
say? Say it. 3. Edit extraneous or limit 2 one line. 4.
Killer wrap Don’t be
discouraged by all the notes – you’ll get there. Not enough product.
Unexpected and original direction –
nice! [Kamikaze Key Fact]: this is really a Prospect Definition.
See any commonly pulled threads?
I see a few biggies:
- Integrating the product into the copy,
using a specific style or not
- Difference between KKF and
Prospect Definition
- Structure, order, Copy Sins,
Wasted words
- Weak closing lines, Run-ons,
Redundancies
- Inabiity to maintain a constant
tone, whether writing in specific style or not
There are more, but these last five, expressed in many ways
in the bigger list of comments, are the ones I most wish Santa would remove
from the student copywriters’ bag of bad habits and misconceptions. This doesn’t begin to address the continuing
problem of Kamikaze Creative Work Plan aversion/ misunderstandings. About as big as it gets in my book.
That said, I wrote a secret message in this blog text for my
students. Homework for the live classes
on the 14th & 15th (will be at Creative Circus, in
Atlanta – give me shout if you’d like to meet, join one of the sessions, take
me to the Ritz for lunch) will be to find it, put it together, honestly put
down the numbers of times you had to read this to find it (all). First person to get it write and list it in
the Comments gets a gold star, maybe something more useful if I can think of
anything (an (extra) hour of copy/concept help?). Hmmm….maybe it’s time to check out all those
strangely appealing stores on Cheshire Bridge…!
(YES, I know there are
more than 20 remarks. Creative license –
considered counting for the correct number, but some repeat, some appear in
different forms, some just are.)
As always, ©2013, Doreen
Dvorin/Kamikaze Creative
